Potter Shorts
by Poison Inkster
Summary: A series of shorts based on the Harry Potter characters. Inspired entirely by the titles I have been given. Read them to see what the story is about. Also, based around my favourite romance of them all.
1. Hermione Granger and the Bone Underwear

**Hermione Granger and the Bone Underwear**

"What on _earth _is this?" A short laugh escaped the mouth of Hermione Granger as she took in the scene before her. Ron was holding up something large and white, with several holes in the sides, while Harry poked at it suspiciously with his wand, which was giving off blue sparks every time the tip touched the item. The pair looked up at her guiltily, Harry lowering his wand as he took in her silent laughter.

"We wanted to give you a present for your birthday, but I think we got the spell wrong," Ron mumbled, holding out the item so she could see. Hermione took it from him and glanced at it briefly. She raised an incredulous eyebrow, trying desperately to hold in her snickers.

"Honestly, boys, what spell were you two attempting to do?" she asked, extremely curious as to what could have caused such a reaction. Silence was all the answer she was given. She examined the item further, and she could see an interesting symbol engraved on the front. Anger flooded through her, and her head snapped up to face the two wizards. The pair, sensing immediate danger, slowly backed away, putting their hands up in protection.

"You _stole _my underwear, and then you _spelled _it into bone! How dare you!"

"We only wanted to make it vibrating underwear for your birthday! Honestly, you need to get laid, and we thought this might be close enough for you!" Ron shouted defensively. Harry shot him a warning glance, knowing that the statement had just made the situation that much worse. The brunette advanced on them, brandishing her wand in front of her. Her hair crackled with wild magic, making it look even bushier than it normally did.

"You wanted me to get _laid_? What kind of disgusting answer is that? You honestly expect me to want that at this age, when I have grades to worry about? And how do you know I haven't?" Her screams echoed around the room, reverberating back to them. A small thought flitted through Harry's mind, pondering on why nobody had heard them and how nobody was attempting to save them. "Just because you believe that I couldn't get a male to touch me, doesn't mean it's true!"

With a swish of her wand, the pair were hoisted up and stuck to the ceilings. Hermione stormed from the room, slamming it closed behind her. The bone underwear lay on the ground, abandoned in the middle of the shouting match. Harry blinked at the scarlet coloured floor, astonished and struck speechless by what had just occurred. But what exactly _had _happened? A whimper came from beside him, and Harry found he could turn his head to the side, just enough to spy tears falling from Ron's nose.

"This is all your fault, Ron! Stop complaining. We're only stuck to the ceiling. Someone will get us down eventually."

Ron shook his head, crinkling his face up in discomfort.

"'Mione gave me a wedgie, mate!"


	2. Colin Creevey and Manager of Hufflepuff

**Colin Creevey and the Manager of Hufflepuff**

The small, mousy boy stepped down the hallway quietly, head bowed over his camera. It's tiny compartment door hung open, and he was prodding within said compartment with his wand, watching as broken cogs and wires repaired themselves. With a huge sigh of relief, he mentally thanked Hermione Granger for teaching him the 'Reparo' spell earlier that year. It had come in handy whenever he had a run-in with a particularly nasty group of sixth-year Slytherins.

The group consisted of Allyson Maiden, Lucinda Fredrickson, Daniel Carter and Aaron Corey. Allyson was very pretty, but she was a high-classed bitch when it came to Colin. Lucinda was a softy, but picked on him because he was a Gryffindor - they had had several civil conversations before; perhaps he could even class them as, dare he say it, nice.

Daniel was a brutish boy, with flaps of hanging skin for a chin and narrow eyes. He always spoke with a grumble that could barely be understood through the amount of slobber and slime that dribbled from the Slytherin's mouth.

Aaron was probably the worst of the lot, however. He was rude, arrogant, stubborn, nasty, cruel and just a Slytherin in general. He had sweeping brown bangs that hung in his piercing blue eyes, sticking out in whichever direction they pleased, but managing to look sexy at the same time. He had chiselled cheekbones, a prominent chin, and the most tempting pink lips you could-

The feeling of coming into contact with a large, solid object yanked Colin from his - rather embarrassing - musing's and he toppled to the floor, his camera hitting the ground with a loud clatter as all the recently-repaired cogs spilled out onto the white marble. Colin stared for a moment before glaring up at the figure above him.

"Look what you just did, you bumbling buffoon!" he snarled. Oh yes, despite his shy exterior, Colin was one feisty little Gryffindor when it came to things he loved. He gathered up the camera and cast Reparo once more, watching as it fixed itself. He got to his feet and narrowed his eyes at the figure who had knocked him over. "Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Ryan Moore, Manager of Hufflepuff," the boy introduced himself, puffing out his chest proudly. A bright orange, 'M' shaped badge gleamed on his chest. Colin hid his snickers.

"Really? Honestly, I think your housemates are pulling your leg," Colin explained. He watched the boy's face expectantly - he couldn't be any older than third year, at the most. "There's no such thing as a Manager of Hufflepuff."

"Yes, there is! The seventh-years told me about it the first day here!" Colin's suspicions were confirmed - the kid had definitely not been here long enough. "They appointed me because they said I would do the job properly!"

Preferring to stay silent rather than spill his laughter into the open, probably insulting the boy, Colin stepped past him and went through several doorways. At the bottom of the marble staircase, a seductive voice called out his name. With an exhausted groan, Colin turned to face Aaron.

"Hello, Mousy. What have you been doing? Creeping around the Hufflepuff com-" With an exasperated sigh, Colin reached forward and slammed his mouth to Aaron's. The pair melted together instantly. When they pulled away, Colin smirked - a purely Slytherin smirk.

"You were saying?" A growl and a squeal later, the pair were glued together by the lips once more. Colin mentally thanked the 'Manager of Hufflepuff' for this. He was doing that a lot these days.


	3. Professor McGonagall and the Bone Spell

**Professor McGonagall and the Bone Spell**

Several days after the unfortunate 'Bone Underwear Incident', as the Gryffindor's had dubbed it, Harry and Ron were sulking in the Gryffindor common room. The lazed in the armchairs silently, staring into the blazing fire, their expressions morose. Ginny skipped down the stairs of the girl's dormitories happily, stopping short at the sight of them. She raised an eyebrow.

"Hermione's still not talking to you two?" she asked. The pair shook their heads, their frowns deepening. Ginny looked thoughtful. Hermione never held out this long on talking to her two best friends - what could be keeping her occupied? She shrugged inwardly and skipped out the portrait hole, figuring she would interrogate Hermione later and find out.

Meanwhile, in the Transfiguration classroom, said Gryffindor and her teacher were arguing about the origin of the Bone Spell.

"Professor, do you honestly believe that this spell was not made for dark purposes?" Hermione argued, trying to get her point across about the danger of her best friends and their experimental spellwork. McGonagall shook her head, lips thin.

"Miss Granger, I do believe it is so, and I would not like to hear anymore of your BACK-TALK," she emphasised the last two words as Hermione opened her mouth to protest. With a frown, she backed down and crossed her arms. The glum look stayed on her face as she swept herself from the classroom with a huff, turning in the direction of the library. McGonagall looked after her with an amused quirk to her lips and turned her head to gaze at the bone underwear. Certainly, she was curious about what kind of spell had caused such a reaction, but she did not believe it was meant as dark magic.

She pulled her wand from inside her robe and tapped on the underwear. There was no reaction. She muttered a spell under her breath, and was astonished to see an engraving come up within the bone. She peered closer, her eyes widening as she read the message.

'Property of Draco Malfoy.'


End file.
